So, I thought I’d take a break today from my, “Freelancer getting started” resume’ tutorial to discuss Fear. And Loathing. Fear and Loathing for a writer are like a pair of obnoxious little kittens that play by your feet when you write. Most of the time, they just stay down there, by your feet, playing with each other. Once in a while their soft, warm bodies hit your foot- just reminding you of their presence. Occasionally, usually on really bad days, Fear and Loathing claw your foot. It’s unexpected and the tingling sensation of being hurt slowly makes its way up your leg and into your heart.
Fear and Loathing can happen when you are writing a piece with a subject matter that you are not comfortable with. Fear and Loathing can happen when you haven’t had a paying job in days….and when days turn in to weeks. Fear and Loathing also happen when an editor, buyer, agent, fan doesn’t like your work. Fear generally represents a writer’s fear of a negative critique or review. Loathing can be many things- loathing yourself for perceived suckage, loathing that critiques get to you, or loathing the risk you take very time you accept an assignment.
The emotional state of a writer is often subject to a rollercoaster ride of stimuli. Each time you write and are critiqued or praised by the buyer of the work, it is as though you’ve never written before- and only that critique or praise counts. One day, you’re on top of the world because someone loved a piece you kicked out in a short amount of time. The next day, you question whether or not you should be writing at all because your buyer found the piece you researched and spent hours on “acceptable.”
Why is the emotional memory of the writer so short? Why do we judge ourselves by the fickle nature of our non-writing clients? My guess is that two things are involved. The first is the subjective nature of writing. There is no objective way to judge writing style. You either like a writer’s style, or you don’t. When a job is requested of you, a writer may assume that meant the buyer liked and wanted the writer’s style to be present in that particular piece. This is not necessarily true.
The second is that, in the ghostwriting, behind the scenes world of mass web writing, you do not get more than one opinion for each piece you write. On this blog, one comment may say my writing sucks ass, whereas another comment might say that my writing made someone laugh. With web content or ghostwriting, we receive only one comment, giving a pass/fail rating system for a creative endeavor. Imagine telling Van Gogh he failed with “Starry Starry Night” because stars don’t look like that, or Dali that he failed because clocks don’t bend.
Fear and Loathing. They will be playing by your feet every time you write. It’s okay if they claw you once in a while. It’s okay as long as you let the wound heal- and keep coming back for more.
